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Student prefers black coffee, resists additives

Written by Phillip Bowden

Thursday, 24 April 2008 06:57 PM

“You drink it black?” Yes, I do, in the definite case where the third person singular “it” refers to coffee, God’s greatest gift to man. These days, however, I am beginning to sense a peculiar and troubling sentiment among the coffee-consuming populace. Drinking coffee with no additives seems to be viewed not only as a strange habit but as a spectacle. Please note, I am not now nor will I ever be a monkey dancing for your amusement. I don’t dance. Most days. If I had a dime for every time someone has pointed out my love of black coffee with an inflection that suggested amusement or ridicule, I would have not only an inordinate amount of metal but also enough money to purchase as many black-market organs as I need to sustain my love of the caffeinated beverage indefinitely. I fondly remember a time — in black-and-white no less, all history looks like film noir in my head — when boys and men alike would wince uncomfortably as they tried to stomach the somewhat bitter taste of black coffee in a bold attempt to be more masculine. In the era of Starbucks’ hegemony over the coffee world, it seems to be a sin to order anything that doesn’t have its origin in the Italian language — please note: It is small, medium and large. You cannot change me. The Shorthorn: Antonina Doescher Don’t get me wrong, any barista within 20 miles would admit to seeing me more often than they’d like. Starbucks is quick and convenient. That’s the end of my positive comments about Starbucks. Starbucks is quickly destroying, decimating and deflowering my beverage, my fuel and my friend. Of course, I’m optimistic for change: The old CEO is back, and hopefully he will stop the blitzkrieg against the sanctity of coffee-flavored coffee. But probably not. Sadly, it seems all the money is in selling Frappucinnos to affluent teens who look like former members of Panic At the Disco. Yes, that is a sleight at the band. Don’t cut yourself. Men far better than I have made the case for the sanctity of black coffee. Recently a co-worker said it far better than I ever could: “Coffee is not an ingredient.” Amen. — Phillip Bowden is a computer science junior and columnist for The Shorthorn. Views: 2458 | E-mail   Comments (2)  1  Written by Ben, on 04-25-2008 06:38 right on brother. black is the only way to drink coffee Report Abuse  2  Written by Boudreaux Rodriguez, on 04-26-2008 00:55 This From A Man Who Often Gets His Coffee for FREE at:  STARBUCKS!!!! Never-The-Less Report Abuse Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6 AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com All right reserved

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