| Happily Never After |
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| Written by Brooke Cureton, The Shorthorn columnist | ||||
| Monday, 08 February 2010 05:31 PM | ||||
 Life is not a masquerade, eventually the masks must come off.If you’ve ever worn a mask before, you know that after a while it starts to get hot and itchy, and it eventually gets difficult to see out of one. Sometimes in relationships, we wear a mask for the other person — temporarily modifying our preferences, activities and demeanor. The first few weeks, or even years, of a relationship can be like a honeymoon — everyone’s content in the success. Then the mask gets uncomfortable. You try to ignore it, but it has to come off. Sometimes it turns out to be a mutual dose of reality, sometimes heartache. I’ve been there. I have morphed and painted on all sorts of faces. At first I thought it was a normal part of dating. She doesn’t like jealous guys, so he pretends he’s not. He doesn’t like that she parties too much, so she pretends she doesn’t. Relationships can live with a lie for any amount of time. They’re perfect until someone realizes they aren’t being themselves. It’s not easy, healthy or fun to continually pretend, and most often things get volatile. Valentine’s Day is not a masquerade ball. The idea of sharing it with someone is special, but is it worth pretending? Some might say it’s better to have a relationship than none at all. I worry that in having one, in pretending for one, we may miss “the one.” We may be too busy morphing and switching costumes in the dressing room to see that we missed our opportunity. The idea of having a valentine is sweet and classic, but it’s not worth being fake. We spend too much time deciding who we “should be,” rather than discovering who we really are. Take the mask off. Put away the Halloween and theater costumes. Look at your relationships, and decide if you’re compromising too much. It may seem too dangerous to walk away from a relationship, from the stability and comfort. But in staying, you risk losing yourself and your chance with someone who fits you. The chances don’t come often. Perhaps you shouldn’t spend every waking moment looking for your soul mate. But if you never remove the mask, how likely are you to ever find your perfect match? Views: 400 | E-mail
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| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 09 February 2010 06:19 PM ) | ||||
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